omfg I was walking home from the bus stop and I saw this elderly couple where this woman was pushing her husband in a wheelchair and I was like “aw that’s cute” but as I got closer to them I heard them talking and she was like “you’re a huge asshole, tom” and he was like “JUST PUSH ME INTO A DITCH”
drive thru employees
they are sick of your nonsense
I lost my fucking shit at the fish and scared the shit out of my cat!! I am crying!!
4/20? You mean 1/5 reduce your fractions did you even learn math
What if Gordon Ramsay voiced a GPS
"Great job, you missed the exit you fucking disgrace."
The villain has the hero at gunpoint. Everything seems lost. Then the hero has an amazing idea: Make them talk. So the hero says “Now since I am as good as dead, tell me: Why are you doing this?”
The villain smiles and shoots him.
Sobs happily, applauds, and awards the appropriate merit badge (#005).